Okay, I didn't kill myself as I promised last time I wrote. C'mon, it's just a car. It only cost me $450 to get a new alternator put in the car that I had just purchased. No big deal. Hey, I'm a pizza man, people! I'm rolling in fat cash. Don't worry about me! So anyway, my tiny convertible is rolling again. It started raining yesterday. Wouldn't that be about what you'd expect? That's okay though. So I can't drive with the top down right now, that's okay. It's nice to see rain again. It's been sunny for too long. I never thought I'd hear myself say that. But the Miata with the top up is very cozy and I feel strangely tucked in or something. It's good.

I have been depressed lately though. I think it's mostly the car shit. I hate that. I hate not being able to shake it, knowing it's stupid and that I shouldn't be upset about a fucking car and all this shit, that I shouldn't attach my feelings about this to everything else, as though the car problems are a symptom of the greater picture of my life or something... but somehow I'm still not able to shake it. Grr. It sucks to feel like you're pre-wired straight from the factory to be sad and never be totally happy with your life. See, this is the stupid shit that goes through my mind.

Some guy I met at first thursday a month ago is coming by on Friday to buy one of my paintings. Not sure which one, he just wants one of the cityscapes. My dad and kellie will also be in town at that time. What a convergence of stuff! Actually this guy was supposed to come by last night to look at the art but I got stuck at work for fucking ever. Today and yesterday, two ten hour days in a row. That's a lot of work for a lazy bastard like me. And speaking of my laziness, I had a mad serious leg cramp because I've had to use this one muscle lately getting in and out of my very tiny little sports car, and I'm not sure that muscle has been used in a couple of years at least.

Here's your not quite amusing anecdote from work for tonight: I park outside this apartment building in the fire lane, where I always park when I deliver to this place. As I'm going in some guy turns to me and says, "They'll give you a ticket there, dude." He's carrying a bag that appears to be a pizza bag. "Fifty bucks. I got a bunch of them." I found it really funny that he got a "bunch" of fifty dollar parking tickets before he finally stopped parking there. I got my car towed last year in one of my more horrible moments in the pizza business and I haven't parked in a commercial lot or a tow zone since. I learned my lesson right away. It didn't have to happen a bunch of times. Interesting guy. I should add that I've been parking in this space on the fire lane for over a year and have never had any trouble.

Tonight, for some reason, I really feel like I'd like to break out the old metal that I never listen to, like Megadeath and Pantera and Metallica and shit like that and listen to it loudly and maybe paint or something creative like that. I don't know if I see that happening though. I'm no fun anymore.

$87 billion dollars. Iraq is now the frontline in the war on terror. Iraq was nothing but a minor annoyance until the nitwits in charge decided to invade it and it had almost nothing to do with the war on terror. Now it's the front line, but only because we made it so. Isn't it fun that we're now in a position where we can't say, "No, mr stupid ass, we can't support your dumb bullshit ideas, you can't have $87 billion dollars!" because we're already there and the "right thing to do" is to help put the country back together. Would have been nice if we hadn't destroyed it in the first place. Meanwhile nobody here has any fucking jobs, and none of us can go to the doctor because we've got no goddamn health insurance. Hey. Good. Glad we've got things in order here. Good set of priorities. And don't give me that shit about it being a matter of security either. Iraq was never a threat to our security. One of my major concerns was not addressed by Mr. Bush last night: the fact that the president of my country is a fucking moron. P.S. Am I supposed to be excited about Howard Dean or something? Because it's not happening.

I'm enjoying the Deftones right now. Any more stories would make your head explode. Jesus, I gotta do something. Seriously.