I had kind of wanted to write something a little happier.

Last tuesday I was thinking a lot about my dad's old Fiat, that great convertible. It fucked me up for life, that goddamn car. I was dreaming every detail, the journeys out into the cold with the top down in late march, the noisy heater and the dim, somewhat misaligned lights on the dash. It didn't work a lot of the time, but it was a damn fun car when it did.

Well Wednesday morning I woke up with a plan in mind. When I got home from Utah the battery in Uglycar died. I took it out and put it in Jenn's trunk, and the plan for Wednesday was first to go test drive this 97 Miata that was advertised in the paper. Then we'd go get a battery for the LeMans and I'd bring it home and that would be that. Get the convertible thing out of my system, maybe even get turned down for a loan for it, just to keep myself in check. But nothing really went the way I planned it. I didn't get turned down for the fucking loan, and then I even got a respectable interest rate and payments I can (hopefully) afford. I tried to get out of there several times with, "I'd like to think about it," to, "these payments are just too high for me." Somehow they kept me there for four hours. Somehow I couldn't hold up, I knew I wanted that car. And then I was driving home in my new Miata. That was Wednesday.

Friday afternoon I was driving for work and the car sputtered to a stop. The night before, whenever I'd get off the freeway the tach and the radio would die. By Friday afternoon when it sputtered to a stop it was dead. That was it. Jumpstarted it to get it home and fell into a deep deep funk.

I drove Jenn's car all weekend and talked many times to my dad about the car problems. We finally decided that it was likely the battery. After a bunch of bullshit trying to get the dealer to pay for the thing, since I hadn't even owned the car forty hours before it was dead, today I finally said fuck it and bought the goddamn battery. I just wanted it solved and I wanted my car back. So today I put the new battery in and everything was dandy and new.

We went for a drive around the city tonight and it was wonderful. Then when we were getting off the freeway the tach went dead, as did the stereo. The lights were getting dim. Got the car home, back to the spot where it's been sitting dead almost since I signed the five year loan to pay for it, and turned it off. Turned the key, just to check. No juice. So I don't know what's up. All I know is I have a fucked up car, and that I probably made a big mistake here.

How in the fuck did I go and let a red sports car ruin my life again? And how did it happen so fast? If I'd woken up in a different mood last wednesday maybe I'd still be dreaming of having my own little convertible car instead of dealing with the horrible nightmare of having purchased a fucked up one. Isn't this car pretty much tainted now? I mean it hasn't really worked since I bought it, I'm not getting any chance to bond with it, and even after I spend a fortune to get it fixed, how could I possibly ever feel comfortable with it. So everything is fucked up. I am such a fucking moron.