Jesus, lately I just constantly feel like I'm waiting for something. Yesterday I had the day off work. I did nothing. Serioulsy. Like I mentioned before, I went for a little bike ride and wore myself out pretty quick. It doesn't take much. And then I came home and literally wandered around the house listening to my iPod and waited for Jenn to come home. Yeah, I made dinner and I cleaned a little bit and stuff, but that ain't much. Ridiculous. And today it's the same thing. Right now Jenn is taking a nap and I'm wandering around attached to my iPod, pretty much just waiting to go to work for four hours. And once that's over I think I'm going to stop at the store and buy something that will get me drunkified. Reality just doesn't seem appealing today.

Well there's a topic. Let's talk about alcohol. You may or may not know, back in the day I didn't drink at all. In fact my first drink was probably only a little over two years ago. The reason I didn't drink is because for a while my dad was a drunk. I don't think I need to put it any more sensitively than that, he knows he was a drunk, we all know he was a drunk and that's fine. Now he's not. I didn't want to become a drunk, and knowing about the genetic probability of my becoming one if I drank kept me from ever drinking. And then I decided I was a grown up and wanted to try it, so I did. And I enjoyed it for the most part. Finally I could be a part of things! or whatever. For the most part it was no big deal, although I guess I did have some moments where I'd overdo it. Hey, I never got to have that 21st birthday shit that most people go through, and I didn't get to be a kid getting his hands on some booze that some older person had bought for them. So I had my moments, but for the most part it's been okay. Now looking back at last summer I realize I was drinking quite a fucking bit. It didn't interrupt my normal life or anything, it was just most nights once I'd come home I'd have a few glasses of cheap wine and get a little fucked up. Still not a big deal, but I couldn't imagine doing that right now. That's because I had a few bad times. There were a few days over the last year that I've gotten in a fight with Jenn or become upset at something for whatever reason and I just hit the bottle hardcore. And it fucking killed me. Deadly hangover, bad scary times. Not fun. And because of that I hardly drink these days. Just the thought of it makes me a little queezy, and I haven't had a hangover in quite a while. But still, I think tonight I'll put that aside and get a little tipsy because it just feels like that kind of a day. I need to be reset. I've got myself into a boredom loop or something and I need to be kicked out of it.

And I need a fucking vacation. I miss my family and I miss my friends. While I like Portland a whole lot more than Utah, I really don't have many friends up here. I have Jennore, who I rarely see, and I have a couple of friends at work. However the only two people at work I even like to work with anymore, and really the only ones I would hang out with outside of work, are both moving in a month. How do you like that? Shitty, huh?

Well, I guess I'm done killing time at the moment. More stories later.

Oh yeah, I know I said I was going to write more last night, but diaryland was overloaded every time I tried to get on it.