I was just sitting on the toilet and I was watching this fly fly around. Have you ever watched a fly? I've never paid that much attention to them before, but for some reason I noticed it this time. Just incredible creatures. The ways they can move, it's just insane. Actually I think it popped into my head because I remember reading an article about scientists trying to develop a small robotic fly which could eventually be used for spying and shit, and I was thinking, "Jesus, if they'd developed that, this little fly could actually be a robotic spy camera watching me take a shit." And for all I know it is one, I mean they could be lying to us about the level of technology we're at. I heard a story on NPR yesterday talking about why the movie The Matrix was so appealing, mostly because we don't know what is real and what is fake any more. They brought up the issue of Clear Channel Radio and how they have one dj in San Diego pretending he's a local dj in Idaho and Santa Barbara and a few other places, dropping the names of local places and things so people will think he's actually broadcasting from their town. They also mentioned the well known fact that tv news sets are mostly fake these days, and everything is just done in front of a blue screen. Maybe one day everything will be a blue screen. Maybe everything already is a blue screen. Who knows how much of this is real.

You know, sometimes I wonder if my brain is getting full and I worry I'll start forgetting stuff. Like I start getting new pin numbers and codes to get into the building at work and my employee number there and all this stuff, and I think, "Jesus, I'm just going to start forgetting everything!" But then I throw on Pulp Fiction, which I haven't watched in a year or so, and I can still recite every line of dialogue and I realize I've probably still got room to spare.

I get a call from Daniel yesterday while I was working. Two nights ago Cindy called and was upset about a fight she and he had and I figured Daniel was calling to tell me his side of it, which I figured was a bunch of shit because I totally understood what Cindy was talking about when she called. So I didn't answer it. I checked my message a few minutes later. Daniel said, "I got a call from Regent today. Ellen died of a heart attack." Kind of shocking. I didn't like Ellen all that much, at least not working for her, but that's still too bad. Just comes as a surprise. She wasn't that old, everyone else in the building was (since it was an old folks home, after all), so it's really surprising to hear that she's the one that went. Life is short, people. Don't fuck it up.