Okay adoring fans. I got a question for you, and I expect a response, whether it's in the guestbook or to my email. See, the girlfriend and I were just talking about shitting (don't ask) and I mentioned standing up to wipe. And she said, "You stand up to wipe?" A wave of fear came over me. What if I've been doing it wrong for 27 years? What if I'm a freak? But maybe it's a guy girl thing, you know? Anyway, I just want to know the story. Please clue me in. If you don't want me to really know how you wipe your ass, just sign the guestbook and don't leave an email address or anything. But I do want to know if you'e male or female. Can you do that for me? Oh, and to make it a little more interesting poll, do you crumple up the toilet paper or do you fold it? Hey, I'm not a pig! I'm doing fucking research here!